持久的爱：50年之后依然相恋

爱情，是个神秘的词汇。而说到永恒之爱，大多数人可能会质疑它的存在。世界上真有这样的爱情吗？一组婚龄至少在50年以上的多对老年夫妻照片證明，真爱不会随时间流逝。

Love as Her Grandparents

宛如祖父母的爱恋

For the past six years Lauren Fleishman has been cap-turing the moments between couples that tell the story of a lifetime spent together. Fleishman， an American photographer living in Paris， began the project when her grandfather died. “I found a book next to his bed that had love letters in it，”she says. “They were love letters he had written to my grand-mother during World War II.”

Fleishman says the letters revealed a side of her grand-father that was new to her：as a young man with his whole life ahead of him. “The letters spoke of a young love，”she says， “the type that was filled with the expectations and the joy of the life they wereabout to embark on together.”

Fleishman decided to photo-graph and interview couples who had been married for longer than 50 years. She began by going to“senior”dances in Brooklyn， where she lived， and would seek couples who looked like her own grandparents. “At the time I realised I was no longer a granddaughter-my grandfather had been my last living grandparent-and I definitely felt a sense of loss.”Fleishman found that as well as providing rich material for her book， The Lovers， spending time with these people who told her their stories and baked her cakes gave her some sort of comfort at a time when she was grieving.

The point of the project， Fleishman says， was to portray these men and women as they see themselves：not as“old people”， but as people who are still in love after 50， 60 years.“I wasnt looking at them in terms of their age，”she says.“I was looking at them in terms of their love. Theyre not really photographs of old people. Theyre photographs of people in love.”

Its certainly true that we dont often see images of people in their seventies and eighties in which their age or infirmity isnt the focus. But in Fleishmans photographs you can see past the wrinkles， the Zimmer frames and the chintzy interiors-what you get is a portrait of enduring love.

Tip：劳伦·弗莱什曼是一名现居法国巴黎的美国摄影师。在过去的六年里，弗菜什曼一直致力于用相机来记录相伴终生的老年夫妻们的爱情故事。这个创意源于弗莱什曼的个人经历：祖父去世后，弗莱什曼偶然在祖父床头的一本书里发现他写给祖母的情书，这些情书写于二战期间，表现了年轻人的爱恋，充满对未来的美好期待，以及要与祖母携手创造快乐生活的愿望，这是弗莱什曼完全不了解的。祖父的去世让弗菜什曼意识到她失去了最后一位祖父母辈的亲人，这让她感到非常失落，于是萌发了采访婚龄超过50年的伴侣并为他们拍照的想法。她开始从身边寻找，特地去了在自己居住的纽约布鲁克林区专门为老年人开设的舞蹈班，寻找与祖父母年龄相仿的老年夫妻，对合适的对象进行采访。采访过程中听到这些伴侣们娓娓道来他们的恋爱经过，给弗莱什曼的内心带来了一丝安慰。弗莱什曼强调拍摄这些老年夫妻的重点并非“老年人”，而是他们“眼中的彼此”，展现的是经过岁月洗礼后仍然保有的爱。她说：“我从他们身上看到的不是年龄，而是这些结婚超过五六十年的夫妻依然相爱的感觉。”

Love Stories About These Old Couples 他們的爱情故事

Before photographing the couples， Fleishman would interview them at home， with the couples describing the first time they met， their first date， their wedding day. They are stories of a more innocent time. Fred and Frances Futterman， pictured side by side at their piano， have been married for 66 years. Their first date was a bus ride to Manhattan from Brooklyn and back again. Another woman who was married in 1959 says her first marital home in Wyoming had no running water. There are stories of dancing the jitterbug and the jive with soldiers during the war and of scribbling phone numbers in lipstick on a matchbook.

Once Fleishman managed to get funding for her book， she began travelling first across America to find couples， then abroad. Before arriving somewhere， she would try to track down couples in advance. Fleishman wrote to the local media after reading an article about Jake and Mary Jacobs from So-lihull and was given their phone number. Jake came to Britain from Trinidad when he was 17 and joined the RAF. Mary Ja-cobs says their romance was“forbidden”because of Jakes race and when Jake asked， “Would it ever be possible for me to marry you？”her answer was， “Possible， but not probable.”“It wasnt likely that I would ever marry him， and he knew that，”she says. After the war Jake went back to Trinidad and Mary says her parents“breathed a sigh of relief”. A few years later， however， Jake returned to England. They have been married for over 60 years.

Elisabeth and Eric MacKay， from Lenzie in Scotland， became part of the project when Fleishman emailed a church to ask if it knew any couples married for a long time. Eric MacKays father was initially against their romance because they were of different denominations：Elisabeths family was Church of England， while Erics was Church of Scotland. Eventually， though， the couple married on 28 August 1956.  Elisabeth told Fleishman， “Sometimes he makes me cross but not very often.”

Fleishman says interviewing the couples before getting her camera out gave her a sense of what sort of picture might represent them best. She photographed Gino and Angie Terranova kissing because“there was something about the way they fitted together”. Moses and Tessie Rubenstein， married in 1942， are pictured hugging tightly. Moses says， “Id hate to leave my little wife here. And shed hate to leave me.”

One of the most poignant photographs is of Yaakov and Mariya Shapirshteyn wearing their swimming costumes on the beach. Perhaps its the familiar way that Mariya leans into her husband， or because in most family photo albums its possible to trace the arc of a lifetime in pictures taken on a beach， from first holidays as a baby to pictures of those babies as grandparents building sandcastles with their grandchildren.

Tip：在给这些老年夫妻拍照之前，弗莱什曼会先去他们的家中进行采访，请他们谈谈恋爱过程中有哪些印象比较深刻，比如初次相遇，初次约会，结婚当天的情形等。照片中并肩而坐，正在谈钢琴的福特曼夫妻，结婚已经66年了。他们的初次约会是乘坐大巴往返于曼哈顿和布鲁克林。弗莱什曼曾读过一篇关于雅各布斯夫妇的文章，并设法与他们取得了联系。由于种族原因，这对夫妇恋爱之初便受到了阻挠。战争迫使两人分离，但并没有阻断两人的感情。几年之后，杰克·雅各布斯返回英国与玛丽重逢，现在他们的婚龄已经超过60年。弗莱什曼称，之所以在拍摄前采访这些夫妻，是因为这会让她找到一种感觉，知道从哪个角度能最好地呈现他们的状态。

Love Gets Deeper as Time Goes by

日久弥坚的爱情

When Fleishman asked the couples the secret of their love， many suggested it was tolerance and an acceptance that love changes. Frances Futterman says， “As you grow older， love changes. It changes because we change.”Another woman says that， while“romance”now entails her husband helping her down stairs， “when we go out on Saturday I still feel like were dating”. Dorothy Bolotin， photographed with his‘nhers Zimmer frame， puts it more succinctly：“In love， hot romance doesnt last forever.”

Many of the couples admitted it hadnt always been easy. “There were moments when they said， ‘People didnt get divorced back then-not that I havent thought about it， ”says Fleishman with a laugh. “Everybody has those moments， but for whatever reason they stuck at it.”

Fleishman， who is engaged， says the couples have taught her a valuable lesson. “From what Ive gathered， what they say is that love gets deeper as the years progress.”And for most， its not the length of time together but the happiness within it that counts.“I never think of it in terms of years，”says Dorothy Bolotin.“I think in terms of good years.”

Tip：當弗莱什曼问起这些老年夫妻爱情保鲜秘诀时，很多人都提到了宽容对方，以及接受爱情会随时间产生变化。其中一位男士认为“随着年龄的增长，爱也会随着我们自身的变化而变化。”另外一位女士则认为“浪漫”就是让老伴搀扶自己下楼梯，说“每当我们周六一同外出时，仍然觉得像是在约会。”还有一位女士用精辟的语言总结道，“在爱情中，狂热的浪漫不会持久。”很多老年夫妻承认，让爱情保鲜并不简单，也不是没有动过离婚的念头，但出于种种原因就又坚持下去了。已经订婚的弗莱什曼认为，通过与这些夫妻交谈沟通，让她学到了宝贵的一课：对于大多数相伴终身的夫妻来说，最关键的不是两人在一起的时间有多长，而是在一起时有多快乐，或许这才是历久弥坚的爱情的根基。

编后记：爱情，并非年轻人的专利。如果说年轻人花前月下，是在为爱情寻寻觅觅;中年人四处奔波，是在为爱情辛勤劳累;那么，爱情真正的成熟却是在老年。唯有历经沧桑才能感悟爱情的真谛，细细品味爱情的甜蜜。这种甜蜜蕴藏在行走中的相互扶持，蕴藏在身体不适时的杯水勺羹，蕴藏在老年夫妻相濡以沫的生活细节里。虽然激情终将归于平淡，但那些共同走过的如歌岁月，共同经历过的风霜雪雨会化作最美好的回忆，令他们携手相伴，一生的相知相守让他们彼此珍惜，爱情从中得到了延续，或许这就是永恒之爱最美丽的注脚。